Forgiveness

I happened to be watching Oprah the other day and heard her give an amazing quote on forgiveness.  She said she had once heard someone say that, "Forgiveness is giving up the hope that the past could have been any different."

I immediately loved this quote and hurried and wrote it down.  I had never looked at forgiveness in this light.  Yet once I heard the quote it made perfect sense.  When true forgiveness happens, whether it be forgiving ourselves or someone else, we accept the fact that what happened has happened and there is no changing it.  And it means we stop wishing that the said event had never happened. 

Shortly after the wreck I found myself being really mad at the driver of the semi truck.  Her negligence had almost cost me my most precious possessions, my children.  She had not only caused this terrible crash, which thankfully we had been watched over, but she had scared my kids and left us all stranded on the side of I-15 in the middle of Utah.  I only remember asking once how the driver of the semi truck was doing.  I am sure at the time I only asked out of habit more than anything else.  I just didn't care how she was doing.  I cared about the man in the military truck, but I didn't care about her. 

And then something happened that I would consider a sweet tender mercy from my Heavenly Father.  I found myself feeling guilt for my part in the crash.  While I hadn't done anything to cause the crash, I just was in the wrong place at the wrong time, I still felt my share of guilt knowing that I had been involved in a crash that had taken a mans life.  Its hard to explain that feeling.  Myself and the military truck had been innocent drivers in the wrong place, yet I felt guilt for hitting the military truck when he was pushed into my lane. 

After this wave of guilt hit me, I began to see the driver of the semi truck in a whole new light.  I now was experiencing a little of what she must of been feeling.  At that moment I put myself in her shoes and realized the pain and guilt she must of been feeling.  This changed my perspective 180 degrees.  Instead of being mad at her I began to feel sympathy for her.  Shortly after getting to the ER and getting checked out, the kids and I found ourselves all alone in the hospital room.  We had all knelt down and said a prayer thanking our Father in Heaven for protecting us.  We also had prayed for the family of James Ruman who had passed away in the crash.  But we hadn't prayed for the semi driver. 

As my perspective changed we again all knelt down and said another prayer.  Again we thanked our Father in Heaven for protecting us, but this time around we said a prayer for the semi driver.  We prayed for her to be comforted and for her to be able to forgive herself.  We also prayed that she would know that we had forgiven her and held no ill feelings towards her.  I then said my own prayer asking my Father in Heaven to forgive me for my harsh feelings towards this driver. 

The great thing about forgiveness is the peace you feel once you have done it.  The minute I forgave this lady I immediately felt peace come over me.  Prior to forgiving her I was filled with bad feelings and feeling sad for myself.  I had kept wondering what if.  What if I had left 5 minutes earlier or later, then I wouldn't of been involved in this.  I kept wishing that we hadn't been involved in this. 

After hearing that quote from Oprah I realized that once I had forgiven this lady I came to accept what had happened.  I couldn't change it, nor did I want to anymore.  All I could do was learn and grow from it.  I hope that had our outcome been different that I would still be so willing to forgive. 

Because I never want to forget this quote and because its a great reminder to us all, I decided to type this quote up so any of you who want to display this in your own home can.  We all must forgive, whether it be ourselves, a family member, a friend or even a spouse.  I hope to become more like my children and be willing to forgive so easily.  My children are so good to forgive me when I make my many many mommy mistakes.  It is no wonder that our Savior counseled us to become like little children.

 

                                                                                                                                                      

Click the links below to download the quote. I made it in 5 different colors.  They are all 8x10 in size, but could be printed in 5x7 too.  If you don't like any of the colors let us know and we might be able to change

 the color for you.

             burgandy                    green                      brown                        blue                          red