Miracles...

Many emotions run through my mind as I look at these photos.  There is some fear and anxiety that comes to mind, pain and sorrow but mostly I feel GRATITUDE. 

One week ago on July 1st, 2011, myself and my 3 little ones (ages 5, 3 and 9 months) were traveling back to Utah from Las Vegas when we were involved in a terrible accident.  As we were passing a semi truck, the semi slammed into the back of an 2 1/2 ton military surplus truck going anywhere from 75-80mph.  The force and sound of the crash will forever be in my memory.  As I witnessed this happening I knew that myself and my kids were all going to die.  There was no way we could take on a semi and a 2 1/2 ton military truck going 80 mph.  As soon as the semi hit the military truck it immediately spun the military truck into our lane and we hit him head on going 80 mph.  After the initial hit we were then hit again by something else.  I remember praying that it would all just stop and go away because I couldn't handle it anymore.  I also just remember being shocked that I had not been killed.  And then the sweetest sound I ever heard came from the back seats of my car.  It was all 3 kids screaming.  I was able to get the car stopped and turn it off and as I jumped out I saw 3 people already coming towards our car.  I just remember screaming to them that I had babies in the car and then I turned and hurried and opened the door to see my 3 angels all with terrified looks on their faces. 

I can't describe to you the pain I felt seeing my children so scared.  I felt so helpless yet I was so thankful they had all survived.  We were so blessed to have so many passersby stop and come to our aid.  I was in complete shock and was crying hysterically.  The people who stopped and helped us were like angels to me.  Each of my kids were being tended to by 2-3 people.  I remember seeing a guy just holding my little baby and rocking her to try to settle her down.  And I can't tell you how appreciative I am to all those angels who stopped and cared for my family.  I am forever indebted to them.  They can never really know what comfort they were to me and my children. 

Unfortunately not all involved in this crash were as lucky as my family.  The driver of the military surplus truck was killed.  Every day since the wreck I have thought about this man many times throughout the day.  I am usually brought to tears when I think about this man who lost his life in such a tragic and senseless way.  I remember looking at what was left of his car and knowing immediately how he fared.  But it wasn't until the EMT confirmed to me what had happened that I finally broke down and cried. 

Its been such a roller coaster for me the past week.  I have had my good and my bad days, yet I am grateful that I even get to have good and bad days.  Not all involved get this privilege.  But I am left with the recurring nightmares of the accident.  I am left with the guilt of what if.  I am left wondering why my family was spared and James wasn't.  My physical wounds are healing but I know this will be an emotional journey for a long time.  My life has been changed forever.  Hopefully I can let this change my life for the better.

Now I cannot write about this experience without expressing my love for my Heavenly Father who protected us that day.  There is absolutely no logical reason why myself and 3 kids didn't die that day.  We were traveling at a high rate of speed and we hit head on with a 2 1/2 ton military truck, much bigger and stronger than my Dodge Durango.  While it may not make sense logically why we all survived, I can tell you why we lived.  There were angels with us who I like to think were hugging my kids so tightly that it protected them from the force of the hit and glass that shattered.  I know without a doubt that someone else drove that car for me.  Everyone who saw the accident told me that not only should we have not lived, but we should of rolled.  I only recall driving after the second hit and after going into the median.  Prior to that an angel had the wheel and kept us from rolling and from going across the median and hitting oncoming traffic.  

I could honestly go on and on with the many miracles I witnessed that day.  I can see how we were guided to do certain things earlier on that later protected us.  All I know is that miracles still happen today.  Miracles actually happen every single day in our lives but most times we choose not to recognize them, but it doesn't mean they aren't there.  This day though, I saw amazing miracles happen.  There is no way you can witness and go through what I did and not come out feeling gratitude and love for a loving Heavenly Father.  My family is truly, truly blessed.

If by chance any of you know anyone who happened to stop and help my little family out I would love to know who these people were.  I feel that I owe them so much and I would love to contact them and express my gratitude to them.