Writer's Block? Try Zombies!

I love to write. The only problem with it is that sometimes you get WRITER’S BLOCK. Now, if you don’t know what this is, let me explain. You pull out your laptop to write the next J.K. Rowlings type masterpiece that will make you millions, and you type:

“Once upon a time there was a…”

And that stupid pause where the ellipsis leaves off is what’s known as WRITER’S BLOCK.

I’ve come against this adversary many times and despise it. I hit my head against it, I shake my pen…I’ve even started hitting random keys on the computer hoping to get my imagination past that BLOCK, but nothing helps. WRITER’S BLOCK is the woe of every writer.

But just like Don Quixote learned to fight his windmills, I’ve discovered a way to defeat WRITER’S BLOCK. The all-powerful weapon is (Drumroll, please!)
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .ZOMBIES!!!

Now don’t laugh! I’m dead serious (and might eat your brains if you don’t believe me). My husband clued me into this awesome weapon. I was in the middle of writing my first novel and kept leaving it open on the computer to go make dinner, use the restroom or other silly things like that, and would come back to find him smirking.

I knew from his look that he’d dared touch my writing, so I poured over my pages looking for ‘unwanted additions,’ and quickly found them. They stuck out like a whale in a kiddie pool. In my romantic story, suddenly the hero would turn into a zombie and eat the girl he loved (something CLEVER like that).

The Zombie theme became something of a game between us. I found myself trying to work the word ZOMBIE into my story naturally, just for kicks. Try doing that! How it enhanced my writing skills. One day I came in to discover a new story my husband had left for me, entitled “A Tale of Two Zombies.” It went something like this:

“It was the best of times, it was the worst of times, it was the age of wisdom, it was the age of foolishness…it was the season of Light, it was the season of Darkness, it was the spring of hope, it was the winter of despair, it was the age of brain eating zombies….

“There were a king with a large jaw and a queen with a plain face, on the throne of England; there were a king with a large jaw and a queen with a fair face, on the throne of France. In both countries it was clearer than crystal to the lords of the State…that things in general were settled for ever, that is until the dead began rising from the dead and eating brains.”

Wow! I was amazed! I didn’t even realize my husband could write. And then it hit me…his zombies had defeated WRITER’S BLOCK. I decided to try them and was astounded by the result. As my imagination was cut off by the dreaded BLOCK, I just wrote the word ZOMBIE onto the page and BAM! Imagination soared again. I now write without any problem because my brain eating zombies do more than just consume brains, they devour WRITER’S BLOCK.

In advance, since I know many of you will want to thank me for this wonderful tip, I say: YOU’RE WELCOME! ZOMBIES RULE!